The Rock Church - Blended StepFamily Ministry

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Sunday, March 7, 2010

We Are Not Alone


As stepfamilies grow in quantity we are becomming the majority in the church body.   Are we going to stand up and say that stepfamilies make up a large portion of any church and ask the church to work to meet our needs?

instepministries.com

Remarriage Issues

According to the Stepfamily Association of America, remarriages account for nearly half of the 2.3 million marriages each year in the United States, and nearly 65 percent of those include children. Remarriage is an incredible event. The union of people who have experienced the tragedy of death or the disappointment of divorce is truly inspirational. Combining two family systems is an adventure with many challenges. The reality, however, is that the average remarrying couple is spiritually, vocationally, emotionally, relationally and socially unprepared for marriage.
Why are most remarrying couples unprepared?
The short answer is unrealistic expectations and unresolved issues. Many couples want to re-create the nuclear family—because they believe that is what they “should” be doing. However, stepfamilies and nuclear families have very little in common. New families do not really “blend” and there is no such thing as “instant” love or family. Some couples have so many wounds from childhood or previous relationships that they sabotage their new marriage. Emotional and spiritual wounds are invisible scars that become a filter for future relationships. Woundedness makes bonding to a new group of people very difficult. The first two years after a remarriage are extremely turbulent as the new couple (and a host of children and other relatives) sort out new rules and roles. Children are seldom ready for remarriage. Most are still trying to sort out the traumatic events of the past. In short, remarriage is challenging and most couples are not only unaware of these challenges, but they have no tools to cope with them.

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