What Baggage do you carry around?

In Blended StepFamilies each person is going to have a history. A history without the StepParent. This history is going to be filled with memories.  Some good, some great and some memories are - Baggage.

Baggage: things that encumber one's freedom, progress, development, or adaptability; impediments: intellectual baggage that keeps one from thinking clearly; neurotic conflicts that arise from struggling with too much emotional baggage.

Do we all carry baggage?  Can we ever be without something that we need to work on from our past?  Do we need to hold on to something in our past so that we can move forward and "see our progress".

Some people hold onto the baggage as a safety blanket.  A better example might be someone that is holding onto a rock in the middle of a fast flowing river. They are surrounded by turmoil but don't want to let go for fear of what may be downstream. 

The best thing to do may be to take a look at our memories and come up with a Good, Great and Baggage memory box.  Then we may be able to work on our Baggage.  Here is a video that may help you take a look at Baggage.  Can we let God carry it out of our lives?

What will it take?

Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains.  Mark13:8

(Earthquakes in the last 7 days)

What will it take for us to get up and "Do Something" to reach the world for God. 
 
Most of us have heard similar statements.  Most of us agree that someone needs to do some reaching out to the world.  We have also been told...... told - Why do I have to be told. And who is telling me. 

As I hear about the "final days" I know that there will be earthquakes and famines.  "Wars and Rumors of Wars" .  But what will if take for me to reach MY WORLD.  My family, friends, kids friends, wife's friends, my friends(do I have any non-Christian friends?), co-workers, etc........
 
What WOULD I DO if I knew that the Lord was coming next month.  Would it change my attitude.  Maybe not.  Let's be honest with each other.  Be honest to yourself. Would you change?
 
Were you honest to yourself about the last question?  It is so much easier to NOT change, then to change my life.  But what would it take for me to ___________________ for God?  Fill in the blank.  It may be as simple as listen to my kids more and tell them I love them more often.  It may be to invite the neighbor over for a BBQ on Saturday then to church on Sunday.
 
Does God have to shake up your world for you to listen.  Does God have to shake MY world for me to listen.  OH YEA!  He's already done that.  Earthquakes are no big deal anymore. "Oh, did you feel that one? It was another earthquake, Where are we going for lunch?"
 
What would it take?  I don't know.  I don't have time to think about that right now so I'll have to get back to you at another time.  Time......................???

Is it time to STOP?????

When was the last time we STOPPED? Just stopped doing, thinking, working, playing, etc....... Can you remember? Do you know how to STOP and listen to what God wants to ask us, tell us, share a moment with us? What are we making more important then God? Maybe we need to stop the things that we make more important. What if God is ready to ask "What do you want me to do for you?" Would we hear Him?

13:11- When is it time to play?

1Cr 13:11

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

It's amazing how often I expect my 11 year old to reason like an adult.  He is a child.  I need to be the adult.  I don't have an excuse.  I must not do, say or live as a child.

13:12 Sometimes what you don't see is what you get

1Cr 13:12

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

I may think that I know it all, but the bible says that I only know in part.  And since I only know in part I can not see as clearly as I think I do.  So the next time I KNOW THAT I KNOW I must live knowing that God sees what He is trying to accomplish so much better than I can see.  So sometimes I must give a little to see what God is up to.

13:13 What is the Greatest Thing or Person in your life?

1Cr 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

We are created by God with emotions.  In a blended StepFamily emotions can run very high, very quickly, very positivily, or very negitivily.  How are the emotions running in your family?

Emotion: the term commonly and loosely used to denote individual, subjective feelings which dictate moods. In psychology, emotion is considered a response to stimuli that involves characteristic physiological changes—such as increase in pulse rate, rise in body temperature, greater or less activity of certain glands, change in rate of breathing—and tends in itself to motivate the individual toward further activity.

Emotions motivate us to actions.

Faith: confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability. belief that is not based on proof: belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion.

Faith gives us direction.

Hope:.the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope. a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: There is little or no hope of his recovery. a person or thing in which expectations are centered: The medicine was her best hope.


Hope puts our faith into action with the expectation for success.

Love a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
 
Love brings all of the above together for us to live, share, and build up our relationships with friends, family and God.

13:9-10 What you don't know can bring you Mercy.

1Cr 13:9

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

A prophecy is a statement in which someone says they strongly believe that a particular thing will happen.

At this time it seems that we know and prophesy only some of the truth.  That can be dangerous.  That can be a blessing. Why would God choose to have us trust, have faith, in someone or something as part of His plan. Here we have this world that is messy. After all this is an imperfect world.  This must mean that we need to be shown mercy when we mess up, fail, cause an accident, get a failing grade in school. Maybe we need to show mercy when others do the same thing.

1Cr 13:10

but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

Perfection is hard to live up to. We can't  expect anyone to live up to perfection. When perfection was on this earth Perfection was crucified..

So what are we going to do when someone fails us?  Disappoints us? Upsets us?   We need to think ahead and be ready to focus on how we can learn to apply Gods word in our times of trials. Learn to love the people we live with. Treat them better than the people at work.  Learn to live with them because the people I live with have to live with me.  And the people you live with, your family, have to live with you. 

We need to learn to be the type of person that we would be OK living with.  Would you want to live with you?

What do you put your faith in?

"For by grace you have been saved through faith" (Ephesians 2:8).

We all put faith in somthing, or someone, everyday.  Faith is belief plus your actions.  When you go through a traffic intersection at 40 MPH because you have a green light, you have faith that everyone that is going other direction will stop.  We sometimes put more faith in a traffic life to save our life then the creator of the universe.

13:8 Love Never,.. ever..., forever......?

1Cr 13:8

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Never is a long time - it's outside of time.  It is eternal.  There will be no need for prophecies, we will know time begining to the end of time and beyond.  No need to speak in tougues, we will understand the Holy Spirit at the spirit level.  Knowledge will pass away.........OK what does that mean?

1acquaintance with facts, truths, or principles, as from study or investigation; general erudition: knowledge of many things.


2.familiarity or conversance, as with a particular subject or branch of learning: A knowledge of accounting was necessary for the job.
 
We will know not have an acqaintance.

We Are Not Alone

As stepfamilies grow in quantity we are becomming the majority in the church body.   Are we going to stand up and say that stepfamilies make up a large portion of any church and ask the church to work to meet our needs?

instepministries.com

Remarriage Issues

According to the Stepfamily Association of America, remarriages account for nearly half of the 2.3 million marriages each year in the United States, and nearly 65 percent of those include children. Remarriage is an incredible event. The union of people who have experienced the tragedy of death or the disappointment of divorce is truly inspirational. Combining two family systems is an adventure with many challenges. The reality, however, is that the average remarrying couple is spiritually, vocationally, emotionally, relationally and socially unprepared for marriage.
Why are most remarrying couples unprepared?
The short answer is unrealistic expectations and unresolved issues. Many couples want to re-create the nuclear family—because they believe that is what they “should” be doing. However, stepfamilies and nuclear families have very little in common. New families do not really “blend” and there is no such thing as “instant” love or family. Some couples have so many wounds from childhood or previous relationships that they sabotage their new marriage. Emotional and spiritual wounds are invisible scars that become a filter for future relationships. Woundedness makes bonding to a new group of people very difficult. The first two years after a remarriage are extremely turbulent as the new couple (and a host of children and other relatives) sort out new rules and roles. Children are seldom ready for remarriage. Most are still trying to sort out the traumatic events of the past. In short, remarriage is challenging and most couples are not only unaware of these challenges, but they have no tools to cope with them.